The Hidcote Cat
- 2002
Yubberton is a quiet place Where most folk 'as a smilin' face, But this 'asn't alus bin so Cus they 'ad problems years ago - Durin' the war - or just ater There was a shortage o' water, Most of the ditches adn't bin cleared And a gret black rat 'ad just appeared.
A call went out for village men To assemble at Righton's lambin' pen. Where they was a listenin' to ol' Bill Payne When - suddenly - it started to pour with rain. "That's sorted the water," said 'is son 'arold "Now lets sample one of Ol' Joe Page's barrels". "We shouldn't stand out in this gloom We should carry on in the assembly room".
A committee 'ad to be elected - If these problems was to be corrected. Bill Payne sat in the chair, In the absence of the vicar - who wasn't there. Son 'arold sat upon his right An' Snooks to 'is left - what a sight. Denny Proctor shouts, from behind a post, "tis! Father, Son and Holy Ghost".
Bert Diston said 'e thought 'e knew Just what Yubberton ought to do. "Hidcote's got a thing so potent That it could best your village rodent" Bill Payne said "Bert there is a doubt As to what You're a tellin' us about. It's 'ard to believe there's somethin' that Hidcote's got - can kill the rat".
The rat that was fust seen Sittin' on the cricket green Eatin' one of Stanley's lambs Follered by a pair of Procter's hams. It gave Roddy Emms such a fright, Ended the cow charity, started by farmer Keyte Caused chicken pox and infected The Parish Council - just elected.
The villagers all agreed That to 'idcote they must concede, And give each of their men a wife - Even to a free pint every day - for life. Bert Diston and Jan the Pole Left for a place they calls Cat 'ole, It was a'ter dark and in the murk When they returned to do their work.
There was no tellin' what was goin' on But in the mornin' the rat was gone. Snooks was of the view The animal they'd used was from Peru. 'arold said "ere's what I thinks" "They used a puma or a lynx". "I dunno" said Bert, "if it's one like that - We just calls it 'the 'idcote Cat!"